Happiness can be a tease. The more we chase it, the further away it seems. It all starts with a New Years Resolution to lose weight or to find the perfect person and so, we begin our chase hoping that happiness will find us by the end of the year. The first few days usually go well and maybe a week-or-so into it, we are thinking that whatever it is that will make us happy is within sight. The washboard abs. The nice guy down the street. The many friends. The trips to far away places. But as time goes by, the process stalls. We put in the effort without seeing the results. The days at the gym become a bore. Online dating seems hit-and-miss at best. We’ve met new people but none of them are that great. And the trips abroad have resulted in only a few good instagram posts. The seemingly endless pursuit of happiness is a root cause for the depression and anxiety that many of my clients deal with in therapy.
A cat is the perfect analogy for happiness. A cat is someone who does what it wants. It will come and see you when it wishes to do so, not when it is told to, and if you chase it, it will almost certainly run away from you. The truth is, chasing a desire, whether it is a feeling (such as happiness) or something substantial (such as monetary wealth or mates) only affirms its power over you. Allowing something to have power of you, undermines your position and is a reflection of your poor self-worth. Needless to say, this is a strong indicator of person who is prone to depression, the very person that often seeks therapy.
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The fundamental problem comes from the way we think about happiness. From the very day we become aware, we have it beaten into us; happiness is a birthright. It is a goal to be achieved and, by following a set list of instructions set out by society, we will certainly achieve it. Once there, it will just be you and that happy feeling for the rest of your days. All the usual troubles that accompany daily life with seemingly disappear and you will be left alone to bask in the glory of what you have achieved. Humanity has come to think about feelings as something that we either chase or run away from. We should chase happiness and avoid sadness. We should pursue the relaxing feeling and stay away from the stressful one. This goes against the very essence of who we are. We our spirits and our bodies are vessels, designed to receive feelings. Whatever knocks on the door, whether it is happiness or sadness, we should welcome it in with open arms and be with it. Do not go about your day by chasing or avoiding what isn’t there to begin with. Do what life expects of you. Go to work, visit friends and family, cook meals, go for walks and whatever feelings come, let them be there with the knowledge that you are experiencing life.
With that said, I hope you experience the day as it is and if you have any questions related to depression, phobia, stress or anxiety please contact me via the Free Email Consultation tab on our website or book a therapy sessions.
Cross Culture Therapy
Life – A Never Ending Cycle of Improvement
Sometimes life can seem like a road going nowhere. Any sane person would, under these circumstances, wonder if there is any point in filling up the gas tank and going for a ride. After all, why bother? Few see the charm in that journey…
Philip Andersson – Life Coach
Philip Andersson is a life-coach who is currently studying to become a psychotherapist. He treats people suffering from depression, phobias and anxiety. Having been raised in Hong Kong and having lived in England and Japan as an adult, Philip also treats people who are overcome with feelings of displacement and rudderlessness associated with a global-nomad lifestyle such as Third Culture Kids, Cross Culture Kids, Migrants and Asylum Seekers.
What We Do!
Cross Culture Therapy offers 1-on-1 online therapy sessions to people suffering from depression, phobia, anxiety as well as to people who suffer from displacement issues associated with a globally nomadic lifestyle (i.e.Third Culture Kids – people who have grown up in a culture different to their parent’s passport culture – and Cross Culture Kids) Our sessions are conducted via Skype for a duration of 50-minutes and can be purchased in packs of 1-session, 3-sessions or 5-sessions. If you are interested in purchasing a session, click on the Book A Session tab on our menu or click here.