If motivation was a friend, it would be one of those friends that would play you hot-and-cold. One day they would be on your side, the next day they would be against you. Sometimes they would call you every day, sometimes you wouldn’t hear from them for a month. Fragile as we are, we humans tend to have a strained relationship with motivation, regardless of whether it is during a depression or when we have a positive outlook on life. So, is it time to rethink our relationship to motivation? Should approach motivation in a different way or just dump him or her entirely?
Most people see motivation as a means to an end. We have a goal to be reached in the not-so-distant future and by staying motivated we are sure to fulfill it. The only thing left standing in our way is the amount of time we have allowed ourselves to achieve the goal. But as we all know, things don’t always go to plan and most of the time there are external factors that can put spanners in the works. This is where our motivation tends to fail us. As soon as we realize that we will be unable to fulfill our goal in the allotted time period we tell ourselves that it just wasn’t meant to be and give up. If you approach your relationship to motivation with this mindset, it will surely have been a one-sided relationship. If you expect motivation to give you everything without you having to give it anything in return, no wonder it left you.
What We Do!
Cross Culture Therapy offers 1-on-1 online therapy sessions to people suffering from depression, phobia, anxiety as well as to people who suffer from displacement issues associated with a globally nomadic lifestyle (i.e.Third Culture Kids – people who have grown up in a culture different to their parent’s passport culture – and Cross Culture Kids) Our sessions are conducted via Skype for a duration of 50-minutes and can be purchased in packs of 1-session, 3-sessions or 5-sessions. If you are interested in purchasing a session, click on the Book A Session tab on our menu or click here.
So how should we approach our relationship to motivation? Above all we should look at our relationship as a two-way street and not only go along for the ride when it’s easy. We need to feed our motivation the same way our motivation feeds us. A good way of doing this is to rethink our goals. If we have the ambition to become a successful entrepreneur, then the fact that we want to become a successful entrepreneur should be the focus and time shouldn’t factor in at all. “But I don’t set time related goals!” you say. Are you sure about that? Have you ever given up on something because you haven’t seen results. Have you stopped going to the gym because you don’t have those rock-hard abs you wanted? The truth of the matter is, you would have had those rock-hard abs if you hadn’t had a time related goal, even if it might have taken a lot longer. For a lot of people the time aspect is subconscious. They may not even know that they are thinking about it. As with all serious relationships, your relationship to motivation should be for the long-haul and not be contingent on gaining results in a certain time period. Think of your goals as a cliff by the sea, eroded one spec at a time, by a consistent onslaught of wave after wave. No significant goal will be achieved in one day, but possibly in one lifetime.
Thinking about your goals and your motivation in this way will help if you are suffering from depression or a state of mental illness because it takes away pressure and expectation, and allows you to work towards your goals in a more healthy way. A lot of people suffer from time related depression. They say something along the lines of “I thought I would’ve been married by now” or “I want to make my first million by the time I’m thirty”. This means that their metric of success is pinned to certain things being achieved in a certain period of time. This is also the underlying factor for people undergoing a mid-life crisis. In this regard, changing your relationship to motivation can help alleviate symptoms of depression.
Cross Culture Therapy
Depression And Low Energy Levels
For those of you who are avid readers of our articles, you will undoubtedly have come over the concept of energy economy. In the article below we will explore how energy economy applies to depression. But first…
Philip Andersson – Life Coach
Philip Andersson is a life-coach who is currently studying to become a psychotherapist. He treats people suffering from depression, phobias and anxiety. Having been raised in Hong Kong and having lived in England and Japan as an adult, Philip also treats people who are overcome with feelings of displacement and rudderlessness associated with a global-nomad lifestyle such as Third Culture Kids, Cross Culture Kids, Migrants and Asylum Seekers.